Taking time to escape the chaos

Last week I decided to escape the chaos of big family life to go away alone for just two days and a night. I didn't know where I was going, I just knew I wanted to head down to the shore. Juan was preaching at 3 different churches on Sunday so Gram and Grandma Velda and Doodad took the kids for Sunday. Saturday I got in the car and starting driving South. I immediately knew I should go to Ocean Grove. I had not been there in years since the old church we used to work for years ago used to go there every year for Baptisms. It is an old Methodist revival retreat area with lots of Christian history. I pulled up my car and went out onto the beach with my red sheet and bible and Beth Moore bible study in hand. For the first few hours I just sat and looked at the waves and rested. I was so tired. I needed a break. Having two children with special needs can really take a lot out of a person over time. Juan gets away almost every year to pray and seek God and rest for a 24 hour period usually at a Lutheran Brethren retreat on the Delaware River, but this was my first time EVER to go away on my own. I think I may do this yearly now because it was so sweet to just have peace and quiet for 28 hours or so. Right where I was on the beach, there was a nice old Victorian  bed and breakfast that I was able to get the last available room in the place for the night. A small pretty room in the back with lace curtains and a rosebud quilt. It was perfect. Being someone who usually falls asleep after midnight I actually fell asleep before 8pm. I woke up at 5:30 am and bundled myself in a sweat shirt and New York City Relief puffy vest then headed down to the beach to watch the sun rise. It was chilly! All the stars were out so bright. Being so close to NYC I rarely get to see the stars so that was a real treat for me. I waited as the sky slowly turned from black to blue and FINALLY by 7:30 the great ball of fire rose over the ocean in all of it's splendor and warmth.

So I was there to listen to God and what did He say? He said to plant my daffodils. Yes, that is what he said.

 You see, I have been getting flower bulb catalogs in the mail for 5 years now circling these white flowers each year and planning on buying them and planting them so in the spring when it is still freezing cold and there are no leaves on the trees my daffodils will be blooming cheer for my whole family and the neighborhood and I to enjoy. Each year the catalogs come in and I circle them and then they end up under the bed with dust and I throw them away. Why do I do this? Well I know the reason why is because I never am sure if we will still be living here by Spring as we had moved about 12 times in our first 12 years of marriage. (been married 18 years now) Also, I was not sure if I would be alive to enjoy them by spring as I have been so ill over the past 5 years. I didn't want to spend the money for flowers that I would never see. So God said, buy them and and plant them. In Genesis Adam takes care of the garden and God takes care of Adam. It is my job to work the land that God has called me to and His job to take care of me. The Lord has called us here to NJ - duh we have been here for almost 13 years but I have never accepted that this is my home. I talk often of Texas or California and often dream of living on the side of a mountain again with trees and streams and a house with a big dining room to entertain for the holidays. My heart has not been here. I have often said that I don't even want to live here. That I don't like the people here who are rough and rude and hard to get to know. But God told me that this has got to change. That this is my land and these are my people. That I am raising my family here and this is my home. I need to accept it and start by planting those white daffodils.

So, today I will order them. I will obey. I will try to fulfill what God has asked me to do. I work the land physically and maybe even spiritually as I start again to serve the Lord here in Jersey, my home.