3 Simple Happy Marriage Secrets

The small things we say and do every day or don't say and do every day will create a picture of a happy loving marriage or sad drama of cranky lousiness. Here are 3 simple things you can do to make a happy loving marriage in your home.

From Laurie Puhn's article in New Jersey Family (I liked this article so much I picked up 20 copies from the Library - they had tons - and cut out the article to give to all of my friends) I didn't learn some of these things until year 19 of marriage (this year) so hopefully I am helping you out sooner in your marriage journey.

First, let's put our mate first, every day. When one of you walks in the door, immediately greet each other (Not the little kids or your computer first). Or, if you see your kids first, greet them, but don't stop there. Find your spouse. A gentle touch on the shoulder with a simple, "Hello, how was your day?" warms up the night. If you're on the phone when your mate gets home, end the conversation. Yes, your spouse's arrival takes priority over others.

Second, say "good morning" and "good night" to each other every day. These statements bring to mind that it is a good day or night because you are together. Not surprisingly, in our online research we found that 25 percent of couples don't consistently say good night to each other, and of those, during the prior year, 70 percent had thought about breaking up.

Third and finally, show love by highlighting your mate's positive character traits. Pick one out every day, and if you think that's hard, simply look for the little things. Make comments like, "I love you for (fill-in-the-blank)." As an example, one day I told my husband, "I love you for leaving a new tube of toothpaste on the bathroom sink for me to use, that was really kind." (Tracy's example:  "I love you for taking out the trash each night, that is really kind of you.") And one of my favorite compliments (which my husband knows) is to hear him say some variety of, "You are such a good mother because you have so much patience with the kids." Interestingly, in our research, when we asked people whether they'd prefer their spouse compliment them for being good-looking (a visual compliment), or kind (a character compliment) 84 percent answered, "kind."

A positive daily communication routine is the way to keep love alive when you don't have time for a vacation or hand-in-hand sunset walk in the park. For romance to thrive during child-rearing years you have to choose it, or loose it.

My Challenge to you is to try and do these 3 simple things each day and see if your spouse notices you being extra kind to them. I bet you a million bucks that they are going to love it and you will feel closer as a result. Happy Loving! t:)