Click the link below if you want to see
Well.... besides preaching for 75 women who were baking cookies for the homeless this winter; besides sharing before a group of teenagers to prepare them before going to minister to the homeless with New York City Relief this summer.... I have not preached for 5 years.
I used to preach regularly for almost 20 years and then when I became ill that and all ministry stopped. Now I find myself in a place of feeling better, God seems to be opening ministry opportunities up for me.
I feel cautious.
I do not want to jump back on the wild roller coaster ride of ministry that I was on before that I think contributed to my illness. I do not want to become focused on ministry as being my source of being important or loved or needed in any way. I do not want to pursue ministry and leave my husband and children in the dust as I run forward with opportunities.
I want to spend more time with God. I want to share his love and heart with people. I want to inspire people. I want to fulfill my purpose on this earth, what I was created for. I want to be a fantastic mother. I want to be an adoring wife. I want to help people.
So opportunities have opened up for me to maybe work as a missions team director with Wonder Voyage. Foursquare has approached me about leading a missions trip to Galway, Ireland. New York City Relief wants to take a staff missions trip to Haiti and include me. I have been getting requests to preach for churches and have done some of them, they turned out really well. I have a Life Group of women to mentor. I have New York City Relief staff to befriend and mentor. I am moving forward with finishing my degree with London School of Theology.
That sounds like a lot.
I tread carefully into God's plan for my life taking my health and my family as my first priority. Can I enter back into ministry without going too far? Can I keep balance in my life as I enjoy the blessings of family and ministry? Can my health handle this? I don't know. I hope so.
Above is the video of when I preached this past week for two Sunday morning services at a
large wonderful church in China Town NYC called Oversea Chinese Mission. Their pastor Dr. Rev. Grace May is just a dream. She is so gentle, loving, kind, smart, wonderful. They recorded me for the first service and I think I did not do very well for that service, the better message was for second service. I was super thirsty and kept smacking my lips and the message just came out choppy and did not connect well. By second service I was able to make it all flow better. I felt uncomfortable in my clothes as I was trying to dress conservative for an Asian congregation you know "become all things to all people" biblical concept. But I think I made a mistake doing that as wearing clothes that were not "me" made me more insecure than I would normally be. I have had a few people tell me over the past few months to be myself in these kinds of situations and I think will listen to that advice more in the future.
I was VERY RUSTY though for both services.
Thank God for His grace and mercy on me because besides my lumpy sermon, non-flattering outfit, and smacking lips, around 25 people committed their lives 100% to Jesus during the alter call.
So... we will see.
What next? How will I handle what comes next? I pray that I would be wise, gentle, calm, healthy and follow Jesus where ever he may lead while enjoying my family and marriage in the adventure of it all.
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